it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
