Don't make out with my wife yet
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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