And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
