Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
