Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
