can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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