I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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