That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
