I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
