I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
