dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
