do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
