Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize