I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
