I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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