so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
