did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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