My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sext me about skeletons
did i just pee glitter
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
