If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
