Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
