First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
