so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
