Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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