Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
