I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
