just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
