took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
