If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize