I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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