the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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