that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize