Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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