I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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