so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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