meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
