Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
