just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need to calm my uterus...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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