She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
