Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
