He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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