Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
