Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
