my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
