thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
