i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
