Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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