Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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