pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
