Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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