Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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