Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize