can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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