But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
