belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I die, sorry about rent.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
