One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
